What a horrendous ordeal. We had to kick through a wall and cut a giant hole in our deck to get the stupid water heater where it was supposed to go. And let me tell you, when you decide to commit to having lady-like lovely acrylic nails you should only participate in lady-like lovely things and not manual labour, ever. Specifically breaking drywall chunks in half with your bare hands because when you break a nail, which will most likely happen, it is nothing at all like 'Oh sugar, I need a nail file.' and exactly like 'Someone please shoot me dead before I barf everywhere from the pain!' Hard plastic glued to your human nail will just snap where ever the heck it feels like and take your real nail with it. Mine just so happened to crack straight across my nail bed resulting in a bloody mangled mess. I drove straight to the beauty salon and told them they needed to fix it before I puked from looking at it and then I made them wax my eyebrows to direct the pain elsewhere. Waxing your eyebrows for the record, takes a minimum of 3 hours to recover from where you are pasty skinned such as myself. Do not do it when you have places to go in an hour. Unless, of course, you like the weird oompa-loompa sunburn you get from having hot wax ripped off your face. I should have known better having waxed practically everything else I can get my hands on. I am a waxing freak, in case you wanted to know. I hear 'Waxing' and think 'Yay!' Nobody ever said I wasn't a total weirdo.

So after mangled fingers, crazy-brows, random holes all over my house and not being able to shower for four plus days I am finally cleeeeeeeeean!!!!! Squeaky fresh soapliciousily clean! So clean I am making up my own words! Hot water I love you!

Labels: gross, ridiculous