Totally Ridiculous.
March 16, 2008
Oh man. Toronto was douchebaggery central this weekend!
First, I'm on a half empty bus with a seat to myself when some straggling chick picks me to sit next to. That's fine, until about an hour into the trip when she leans forward and starts PUKING all over herself. I look at her in absolute horror because I can not handle puke and I ask her if she's ok as I hand her one of those plastic garbage bags they have under the window because she is making NO EFFORT to go to the bathroom on the bus. She just replies 'I'm sick.' Then she wipes the puke off her hand with a single Kleenex, puts it in the bag I gave her and then throws the bag on my side of the floor. She then puts her sunglasses on and sits back LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED while everyone around her looks disgusted.
Second was Saturday night. We went to this club called Tattoo which was just ridiculously packed. It took almost 20 minutes to get a drink each time and this idiot girl came and sat next to us at our table while her friend danced in front of her with her ass 2 inches from our faces all night long. Then some random girl comes over and wraps herself around D and has her face in his ear. I am two seconds from ripping her head off with my bare hands but she leans over to me and says something that sounded like 'Blah Blah Boyfriend' and walks away. D had no idea what she even said to him, but she was lucky I was trapped by dancing girls ass because I would have had to lay the smack down! Sick of the non-stop hussies, we got out of there and went to a pub instead and that's where the real fun started.
We were sitting by the window and we see one of the mounted police outside on the street with someone pulled over. Backup cops come and open the door and pull out this guy out, who then starts puking all over himself. He's obviously completely drunk and we're all like 'Woo get him!' because drunk drivers are douchebags. It takes them almost 30 minutes to just arrest and handcuff this guy because every time they try to get him out of the car he flops on his knees with his head on the officers shoes and pukes. 6 cops, a tow truck, a cruiser and a court services van later they finally take him away but as they are writing up his tickets and whatnot this other moron decides to be funny and drag pylons and construction cylinders out on to the road to block the lanes with the cops RIGHT THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET. And they don't see him do it! People who are driving see him do it, have to get out of their cars to move them out of the way and then he just goes and does it again. The cops don't care though, they just drive around them. Anyways, we're totally convinced there is a contest for biggest douchebag at this point of the night and decided to grab hot dogs before we go home. While waiting for hot dogs some guy comes up and randomly PUNCHES ANOTHER GUY IN THE FACE. For NO REASON. I know hot dogs are tasty and everything but Jesus, just wait your turn! You made me pour hot sauce all over my veggie dog instead of bbq and I almost died from the burning!
First, I'm on a half empty bus with a seat to myself when some straggling chick picks me to sit next to. That's fine, until about an hour into the trip when she leans forward and starts PUKING all over herself. I look at her in absolute horror because I can not handle puke and I ask her if she's ok as I hand her one of those plastic garbage bags they have under the window because she is making NO EFFORT to go to the bathroom on the bus. She just replies 'I'm sick.' Then she wipes the puke off her hand with a single Kleenex, puts it in the bag I gave her and then throws the bag on my side of the floor. She then puts her sunglasses on and sits back LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED while everyone around her looks disgusted.
Second was Saturday night. We went to this club called Tattoo which was just ridiculously packed. It took almost 20 minutes to get a drink each time and this idiot girl came and sat next to us at our table while her friend danced in front of her with her ass 2 inches from our faces all night long. Then some random girl comes over and wraps herself around D and has her face in his ear. I am two seconds from ripping her head off with my bare hands but she leans over to me and says something that sounded like 'Blah Blah Boyfriend' and walks away. D had no idea what she even said to him, but she was lucky I was trapped by dancing girls ass because I would have had to lay the smack down! Sick of the non-stop hussies, we got out of there and went to a pub instead and that's where the real fun started.
We were sitting by the window and we see one of the mounted police outside on the street with someone pulled over. Backup cops come and open the door and pull out this guy out, who then starts puking all over himself. He's obviously completely drunk and we're all like 'Woo get him!' because drunk drivers are douchebags. It takes them almost 30 minutes to just arrest and handcuff this guy because every time they try to get him out of the car he flops on his knees with his head on the officers shoes and pukes. 6 cops, a tow truck, a cruiser and a court services van later they finally take him away but as they are writing up his tickets and whatnot this other moron decides to be funny and drag pylons and construction cylinders out on to the road to block the lanes with the cops RIGHT THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET. And they don't see him do it! People who are driving see him do it, have to get out of their cars to move them out of the way and then he just goes and does it again. The cops don't care though, they just drive around them. Anyways, we're totally convinced there is a contest for biggest douchebag at this point of the night and decided to grab hot dogs before we go home. While waiting for hot dogs some guy comes up and randomly PUNCHES ANOTHER GUY IN THE FACE. For NO REASON. I know hot dogs are tasty and everything but Jesus, just wait your turn! You made me pour hot sauce all over my veggie dog instead of bbq and I almost died from the burning!
Labels: NaBloPoMo, ridiculous
